lucidnee:

prettypussyprincess:

if u wit ur girl

and she put her phone down like this:

image

u mostly likely a side nigga stay woke

Can y’all stop giving away secrets

*Rubs your clit as a friend*

(Source: validx2)

Satan: [appears]
Satan: You can have anything you wan--
Me: LANGUAGE.
Satan: What?
Me: GIVE ME EVERY LANGUAGE.
Satan: What the--?
Me: YOU SAID ANYTHING. GIVE ME EVERY LANGUAGE IN THE WORLD.
Satan: Wouldn't you rather have love or money?
Me: EVERY. LANGUAGE. MASTERY OF EVERY LANGUAGE. NOW.

ouijaboarding:

Sending a long meaningful message and getting a one word reply

image

stardusttx:

grapewallofchina:

your life hasn’t been completed until you see giraffes fighting 

image

you’re welcome

i thought they were partying

plantkitten:

u have lips ….. i have lips …… interesting 

(Source: andromeda4002019)

radioheavy:

does anyone else get friend-jealous really easily?

roseisreturning:

mermaids don’t have thigh gaps but they can still lure men to their deaths

(Source: acebethchilds)

newzealandprince:

if ur laptop doesnt smell like fire then ur losing 

(Source: merylstreepismymom)

xplosivediarrhea:

do you ever watch a movie and realize you have to watch it again because you were on your phone the whole time

(Source: j5h)

thr-ill:

have no regrets

except all those facebook pages you liked back in 2009, regret those